Risk


If you follow me along on Instagram you saw that on Thursday of last week I shared that I was denied my request for a four day work week. Not to be a broken record, but we are bumming pretty hard around here. Although by that point I was expecting it (I had asked the past Wednesday and it took eight days for a response) I was still surprised that no alternative solution could be met. I had presented my boss with three "hypothetical situations" in order of desire:

1. A 32-hour work week
2. A 40-hour work week (1 day work from home)
3. A 36-hour work week with a half days on Wednesday (A mid week pick me up)

Although any of those situations would have been better than nothing. Nothing is exactly what was received. You see I work in property management in commercial real estate. I am the onsite contact for tenants and vendors. So I was told that a presence is needed in the office M-F 9-5. Actually I am well aware of this and I knew that working from home would either be denied or ineffective - but I still had to make it an option.
As the words seemed to slow motion roll out of my bosses mouth I just kept repeating to myself  

 "Don't you dare cry"

I was a champ. I brushed his words off my shoulder like dust and said "I just had to ask. For myself, for Presley. If the opportunity was available. I just had to ask"

I feel like before I became someone's mom, I never would have done this. I usually can go with the flow and just accept that things are what they are. However, that is so not okay. That is not who I want Presley to be. I want her to ask for the things she wants, the things she deserves. So I know my example setting days are already here.

The conversation actually was relieving because at some point this year I am hoping to be able to stay home. My husband is fully on board - I just know that now is not quite the right time for us. That felt like a dirty little secret that I was hiding from my boss. But because my boss himself is a father he also followed up by saying "I also understand if you want to look elsewhere for a job". Right now I commute into San Francisco, which takes me about an hour or longer each way. It's a pain but pay is higher in the city and my job does has a lot of advantages to it. Hence the commute.

I did express that while I am not currently looking for a new job I do at some point wish to stay home with Presley. He again said he understands and what happens, happens. He really is a gem when it comes to having a wonderful boss.

I have always loved the quote from Oprah that "luck is preparation meeting opportunity". So while this is not what I was wanting to hear I do feel like it has set me up for a better tomorrow (so to speak). My boss tells me to leave early on some days and he allows me to waltz in around 9am. Honestly I have it pretty darn good here. I also know that when the day comes to put in a two week notice it will be understood. And even better - filled with compassion.

In the meantime I'll be saving a little more & sacrificing a little more so that our dream can be a reality. It may even mean relocating our family to best fit our needs.

Because it comes down to this.

When I am laying at God's Gate waiting to enter. My memories won't be about the days I spent behind a desk. They will be filled with how Presley crashes her head onto my shoulder in the middle of the night. How David gets a sparkle in his eye when he has caught a big fish. How my mom gets excited when she has found a great deal. How when my dad really smiles - the corners of his eyes crinkle. The bond with my sisters and the beautiful blessings of my nephews.

All the little things that in the end were really all the big things.


18 comments

  1. Oh, mama - I feel ya & love this post. My long-term dream is to stay at home, my biggest issue is that with my job, you won't get it back EVER so it is truly a RISK! Worth it though, I know. Wishing you the BEST OF LUCK, I know everything will work out! XOXOXO

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  2. When I saw this on IG I was really rooting for you mama! I know the results weren't ideal but you should definitely be proud just for asking! (And I totally would have cried!) I'm so glad you have the option to stay home in the future though, that time will be here before you know it!

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  3. Oh I feel for you. I'm so sorry they couldn't make something work for you. But I have to say that staying home with my son is such a blessing and I thank god everyday that I'm able to do so. I hope that in time you are able to make that desire a reality. I honestly think that every mom should have the choice to either work or stay home with their child, it all depends what they want!

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  4. Presley has the best Momma! Proud of you for taking a risk even though it didn't work out like planned. Presley would be super proud too! Keep your chin up! I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed that you will be able to stay home with her sooner than later!

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  5. So proud of you for asking and being so brave. I'm happy to hear you're looking towards being a stay at home mom in the future, and I can't wait for that day to happen for you. That last paragraph you wrote about the memories not being behind a desk was so beautiful, and so true. <3 lots of love to your sweet family

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  6. Sending you so much love for sharing this post with us Laura. Keep your head up and everything will work out. xx

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  7. What a great mommy you are and Presley is a lucky little lady. Keep your chin up girl - great things come to those who wait! xoxo!

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  8. You're totally right on about having to at least ask....and maybe it's a blessing in disguise....maybe because they didn't honor your request, you'll be home full time with Presley even sooner.

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  9. It's amazing that you put yourself out there and asked! I hope that when you are ready, the transition to SAHM is a smooth one! You are obviously an incredible working mom, and you'll kill it staying at home too!

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  10. i totally feel for you but i think it's really wonderful that you had the courage to ask your boss for an alternative working schedule! you would never have known if you didnt ask so that's awesome, AND you're setting a great example for your daughter. i hope you and your husband can work something out soon so you can be at home with your little girl. xo jillian - cornflake dreams

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  11. I'm so sorry it wasn't the outcome you wanted, that must have been really hard to hear. I completely agree with you acting differently because of how you'd want Presley to act... I've been doing the same thing! I've been taking more risks and expressing myself more openly, because I can't imagine telling Clara to be ok with 'good enough'. I really hope your family finds a situation that works for all of you!

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  12. I'm so sorry it wasn't the response you were hoping for. But like you said, it's one step towards what will be the right thing for your family. It seems like you really have a great outlook on things. And I especially loved what you said about the little moments that matter in the end. Not sitting behind a desk. Also, Andrew's eyes crinkle in the corner when he smiles and it's my favorite thing ever. :)

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  13. You are so strong (I totally would have busted into tears) and even though I'm not in a similar situation, I really appreciate you sharing this story with me/us! I truly believe that God has a better plan for y'all! :)

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  14. You totally nailed it with this post and it was something I definitely needed to hear today!! xx

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  15. Thinking of you lovely - well done for asking and taking the opportunity and an even bigger well done for seeing the positive in a horrible outcome! Keep your eye on the prize and hopefully you will be home with your baby girl soon x

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  16. That's so hard. Did you go to school to become a real estate property manager? If so, what did you major in? Always looking for new career ideas.

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  17. You got this mama crying this morning. I've been bouncing around the idea of staying home with my daughter and have yet to have a conversation with my boss about alternatives, because I do love my job and I'm scared of the next steps. Thanks for giving me courage, and best of luck to you as you work out what is best for you and your family.

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  18. Oh, I just love your honesty and I absolutely feel your pain! It is so hard being away from our babies. And how amazing of you to make some sacrifices to be able to do that! I would love to do the same, but then I have zero self-control when it comes to spending. Hang in there!!

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