Tonight I put my baby to sleep in her crib.
I read her a story, I listened to her slurp her milk, I watched her tiny hands rub her tiny eyelashes.
After I said "I love you, sweet dreams" and closed the door to her bedroom. I got terribly sad. The headlines coming out of Orlando, FL this week have been nothing short of a nightmare. A young singer shot for living out a dream, a hate crime and the deadliest mass shooting in America, and now the story of young Lane Graves, attacked and killed by an alligator.
I have thought about that sweet baby boy all day. How he is my daughter's age. Can likely say mama, dada and maybe I love you. I've thought about how when they return to the airport a carseat will be empty on the ride home. Maybe old cheerios in the cupholder, a favorite toy left in the seat.
I opened the door to my daughter's nursery and went in and picked her right up. Her soft curls laying into my face, her cheek finding the perfect resting spot on my shoulder. I sat there and I just rocked and hugged her. We read another book and looked up at the stars illuminating her ceiling. I just needed to hold her again, to feel her.
I hugged her tighter tonight because of Lane. I hugged her tighter because my heart aches, it physically hurts in my chest, imagining the road ahead for the Graves family. I cannot stop thinking about them, about Lane, how that could have happened to anyone. There is no debate to be had here. It could have happened to anyone.
Hug your babies.
Rest in Peace Lane
17 Weeks (Bump #3)
20 hours ago