Leave Her Wild

Hello,

I have been waiting for you. Not in a waiting sort of way, but in the I knew you would be here one day. This day is so far into the future but with anything that needs a lot of thought (and trust me who you marry requires a lot of thought) I have started thinking of you now. Long before my daughter actually will.

You see this girl you love we created from the very cells within us. As I am sure you know how babies come to be. She blossomed out of our relationship and is a tangible product of our love. She is our "I love you" personified.

When I look at her I see my husband's trusting brown eyes. I see her fierce determination to accomplish new skills and the joy that erupts on her face like fireworks when she does. While she holds so much of ourselves in her, she is also so assuredly her own self. So when it comes to pledging forever, this is what I ask of you:

Listen to her

When she gets a gleam in her eye or starts talking really fast about something. Listen. It excites her. Manifest her energy into your own. When she is sad or frustrated. Listen to her silence. Be a hand on the small of her back and outstretched arms to collapse into.

Engage with her

Does she love adventures? Plan trips and get lost together. Be present and engaging in her passions and in return she will do the same. Does something in your day remind you of her? Tell her. Remind her that day in and day out you choose her.

Dream with her

Dream with her. BIG. Let it scare you. Work hard for what you want and the success will follow. Nothing worth having comes without determination and hard work. Become supports to one another in struggles and cheerleaders in accomplishments.

Laugh with her

Embrace the silly. Let your ribs ache often. Dance when there is no music. Giggle in quiet rooms. Reach for her hand when your heart is so full it feels like it will burst. Kiss her. 

Advise her but let her make her own choices. Support her, cry with her, create with her. Be someone she can always talk to, lean on or tell a secret to. Be her anchor when times get tough, her sails when she needs protection and her compass when she needs guidance. Respect her, admire her and appreciate her. Tell her she is the most beautiful girl in the room.

Above all else love her like we do, without reservation nor hesitation, exactly as she is.

Love her but leave her wild.

23

Germ City

Keeping it short and sweet. My little P has been under the weather since Tuesday with a possible bout of Norovirus (no we did not eat at Chipotle). Fuuuuun stuff around here I tell ya! Hope you all have a great weekend and remember always wash your hands!

(Please keep your fingers crossed we don't get this highly contagious bug!!)

Because let's be real -- no one wants to use a sick day for an actual sick day.

Happy Friday!

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Candid Love

As someone who loves to take photos I often find myself behind the camera as opposed to in front of the lens. I love adjusting the settings in manual to get the perfect aperture, shutter speed & ISO. I also recently started shooting in RAW which means a much larger file size but also a lot more control post production. So when I hand over the camera to my husband with the correct settings I am hoping for another great photo - this time with me in it.

We were at a gorgeous location in the open space near our house. The sun was just starting to set in that delicious "golden hour" so many photographers chase. I had already got the shot I was hoping for of P for our Christmas cards and now I just wanted some of her and me.

David snapped away and as the sun sank further into the hills we packed up and hiked back down to our car. There has to be just one in there I thought.

When I slipped the SD card into my computer everything about the pictures was beautiful. I set it up just as it should be but when I looked at the photos all I could see was me.

I could see a pooch of my stomach, roots desperately needing touch up, and one chin too many. Pres looked so adorable I was bummed I didn't look the same.

Then the more I looked at it the more I sort of loved it. I was so wrapped up in my insecurities it took me a moment to see the magic in the photo. 

I rather have some slight imperfections (that I am assured are most visible to my own harsh eye) in photos than miss moments being in them. I know when P looks at all these pictures she won't see a mom who was insecure. She will see a mama loving her baby girl more than anything in the world.

Now that's truly worth a thousand words. 

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Thanksgiving Recap

Having off the past five days was so lovely. We spent Thanksgiving up with my in laws and Sunday I had a girls day of shopping with my mom, sister and P. I am actually feeling recharged for Monday, especially since the city will be decorated for the holidays and who can't get into that spirit? Just a few snaps from our holiday hope you had a wonderful one as well! Now excuse me I have some serious Cyber Monday shopping to do!

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Holiday Photos & Freshly Picked Winner

This past weekend I took P to the open space and snapped some photos for our Christmas cards. I did manage to get some sweet ones but I am going to try one more time today in effort to get both her and Finn to look at the camera. I won't hold my breath.

We didn't go the family photo route this year because honestly it was just too much work/effort (tell me I am not alone on that one?) Next year maybe I can pull it together. In other news I am seriously swooning over everything she is wearing, which may be more than half the reason she is the only one on our card. Finding clothes as cute as hers is near impossible!

I can't even tell you how much Presley loves her shoes. She will cry if you take them out and don't give them to her! These Freshly Picked Let it Go moccasins are perhaps my favorite color yet. I was so excited to break them out for our holiday photos. Let's just hope her feet slow down in their growth spurts!

Thank you to everyone who entered the giveaway - winner was chosen via rafflecopter and is listed below!

hair clip // dress // moccasins // blanket // ornaments  

plaid pillow - similar // red pillow - old

Congrats to Lesley I will be emailing you shortly!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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J O Y

The days have started getting shorter. I can see the sun start to set while I am on the train riding home in the rain. Rain. So grateful for the rain that we need so badly right now. I couldn't help but imagine all the strands of grass reaching a little taller and say ahh as it hit their blades.

As we creep closer to Thanksgiving and Christmas I can't quite believe that 2015 is almost over. I know we all say time goes fast - but to imagine I have been back at work for a whole year post P is something - well something I never thought I would be saying.

In the past I have never taken much time off work for the holidays. This year however I have someone I have to teach all about Santa Claus and why we break a wishbone on Thanksgiving. This year I have some to set out cookies for and nibble carrots - even if she won't remember - I will.

Out of all the things I have nothing gives me as much joy as making a memory with her. Ones she will never likely remember - but oh they are so etched onto this mama heart. I can only hope that one day when I am no longer here to tell her the stories behind the photographs she looks at them smiling - and knows I was smiling even larger behind the lens.

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The Little Things

Do you ever find yourself thinking about what if something happened to me? Would my spouse know to do the following things in my absence? It's just little things, but stuff that I always make sure to do.   Like would he know to always squirt all of the water out of the bath toys after every bath? Would he know I have a special air dry only custom button programmed for all her blankets? Would he remember to buy a special Christmas ornament every year for her?

And while all that is incredibly non big picture stuff it got me thinking about the big stuff. How you can have all these dreams and hopes for their future but truly they are the ones in charge of it. You simply lay the foundation and hope they build a solid house on top of it.

You hope they are strong but kind. Level headed but passionate. That their moral compass points somewhat due north. Graceful, generous and grateful...just to name a few.

It just got me thinking that raising her will be my greatest challenge with the largest reward. What a gift to be given.

What's a little something you always do that you that your spouse may not know about?

crib sheet

5

Doctor's Note

It's midnight over here and I can't fall asleep. We have had a whirlwind of crazy over the last 24 hours that led us to urgent care with a confirmed case of a double ear infection for P. Poor girl has just been a wreck but I must say her snuggles have been a delight. I mean even Finn let her snuggle which is a feat in itself. Part of me thinks he is still wondering who's idea it was to bring her home.

We are on a 10 day course of amoxicillin and I am hoping to have my sweet P back to herself relatively soon. Hope you're weekend was fun and had considerably less boogers than mine!

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Holiday Board Books

Books have always played a pretty big roll in my house. When I was little I would hide my eyeglasses and a flashlight underneath my pillow just so I could keep reading The Babysitter's Club. #nerdalert

I love buying books for P it's the one thing that I truly feel she can never have too many of. When I peek into her room and she is sitting in front of her teepee "reading" it makes me so happy. I'm not kidding this girl could be in a full on temper tantrum and one look at the Pout Pout Fish and she still manages to squeek out blub, bluuub, bluuuuuub. Melt me.

I've been looking to add books to her collection for the holidays and thought I would share some cute ones I found. Because we are in the "I see paper and tear it" stage these are mostly board books. I am sure however they would be loved at any ages!

My all time favorite holiday book is The Jolly Christmas Postman but since my copy is from when I was a little girl I will be waiting to share that one with her. Too many parts that would be tempting to destroy! So tell me what books am I missing?

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7 reasons why I (sometimes) like my dog more than my daughter

1. He's sexually abstinent...for life

My dog will never come home with an unplanned pregnancy. Sure he's a boy and that is reason enough but he's also fixed. Teaching my daughter one day about the birds and the bees is a terrifying concept. Perhaps I should not watch Teen Mom so much as this may seem like encouragement. 

2. Attitude...no way!

Although my dog doesn't speak it's relatively easy to figure out his needs. Water. Food. Walk. He will never go all angsty teenager on me - declaring a love for anything I don't and slamming doors in my face. He will also never learn the art of the temper tantrum which my daughter is basically owning at this moment in time.

3. Independent

I can leave him home alone. In a car alone (with windows rolled down of course) and just in general...alone. His quietness doesn't mean he's getting into trouble. It means he's most likely taking a nap or licking his balls. In her case quiet usually means she has discovered his water bowl for the millionth time and tipped it all over the floor. 

4. He poops outside. Enough said. 

5. He will never need braces or glasses. Two things that if my daughter takes after me she will definitely need. Let's hope you got your dad's gene pool on that lady. 

6. Food. He eats it. Same stuff everyday without complaint. I don't worry about if he is getting enough veggies or if I have fed him Annie's too much this week. Organic? Forget about it we are talking about a dog that licks his butt. 

7. He unconditionally loves me. Sure only my husband walks him. But I let him sleep on my side of the bed (no worries about SIDS over here). His fur holds my secrets and tears and he has saved me a lot of money on therapy. He also knows better doesn't try and get away when I draw him into a hug. I'm looking at you one year old!

All joking aside I like my dog more than most people - but I love my daughter above anything. I mean that's a given right? But the internet can get all sorts of crazy so I felt I needed that little disclaimer. 

18

Life Lately

I'm dreaming of fall over here and the weather is just not cooperating. With a whopping triple digit week, nothing says September like 104...said no one ever. We just came back from a short trip to Lake Tahoe again and I have to say I am pretty happy to be going nowhere this weekend.

No pack and play to set up. No bags to pack. No screaming in a car seat. Ahhh...it's like a Labor Day do over in my mind. I mean for a mamarazzi I only whipped out the camera on one day for an hour with a new lens. That right there says it all.

I'm taking today off to run some errands which include an eye doctor and wellness vet check for Finn. Can't say I'm too bummed about spending the day with my girl. Is it sad that I am excited to go to Target during the day with her?

P just got her first round of the MMR vaccination at her one year check up and we noticed she has swollen lymph nodes near her groin - anyone else experience that? It seems fairly common but of course I called into our pediatrician to make sure. We all managed to come home from Lake Tahoe with a cold so that's not helping our situation much either!

One really sweet thing from our trip was we came home late on Monday night and forgot to put the trash out for Tuesday pickup. Our trash guy is always looking out for us and he always empties our bin when he sees we forget. I want to do something nice for him like and leave it a top our can next week. Maybe some lotto tickets or something fun - but here is the catch. How do I make sure he sees it and doesn't throw it away?! Suggestions welcome.

Hope you all had a wonderful labor free holiday and cheers to a short work week!

6

12 months

Taking these monthly photos was my favorite and I'll miss whipping out the camera on the 20th of each month. The other funny thing about having a one year old - people start thinking it's okay to ask you when baby #2 is coming.

Ha! I can't even imagine that right now!!

6

Lake Tahoe Lovin'

This past weekend we spontaneously decided to make a weekend trip to Lake Tahoe. Friday after work we packed up our car and hoped P would sleep the majority of the ride...wishful thinking on that one! While we had a good time, it was a little more crowded than we remembered it to be. I think that it because we are used to meeting up with our friend, Natasha, and she and Ryan know where to take us away from all the tourists!

Regardless, we were excited to finally log some lake time and a stop at the in laws on the way home for dinner didn't hurt on Sunday evening. Broke the ride up, P got out some energy and we were able to crawl right into bed when we got home.

Until next time Tahoe <3

7

Celebrations

We had such a nice day yesterday celebrating our little one year old. We decided to take P to Tilden Park in the Berkeley hills which houses a carousal, a little farm and a steam train to ride on! Living in the Bay Area practically my whole life and I have never taken advantage of this park!

After a full day at Tilden we had dinner at a local restaurant, Pizza Antica, followed by a confetti shower and cake eating! It was a long day (and my camera skills were seriously OFF) but now my little one year old is blissfully snoozing away.

Thank you for all the birthday wishes for our sweet girl!

birthday banner - DIY

Birthday Hat - DIY

Floral Crown

Dress 

(I had purchased this during EGG's summer sale for less than half of the price!)

Cake - Homemade

Sparkler Candle

Birthday Plate - Pottery Barn Kids (No Longer Available)

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