Before I put my baby to bed I want to find that spot where P and I so perfectly puzzle together. Her head on my shoulder, my nose in her neck. I want to curl into my warm bed as my husband, by rote, lifts his arm for me to snuggle under. Trading her scent for his.
I want to wake up to her smiling so happy to see me peering over the rail of her crib. Her feet kicking down in anticipation of a new day. "Good Morning Sweet P" I will tell her as I tuck her warm body onto mine. As she makes her little noises in my ear and grabs at my face with her hands.
I will be able to feed her homemade organic purees - the only thing I can really master in the kitchen. Grateful to have access to healthier food choices for her. All while my husband whips me up a delicious breakfast - which is never just reserved for Mother's Day.
I hope to spend the day napping in a hammock, feeling fresh air on our faces and perhaps enjoy listening to the sound of waves as they kiss the shore. Dip our toes into the cold Pacific Ocean, set up a tent on the beach.
I want a day where we are all together enjoying this life. Instead of focusing on tomorrow or next week or next year. Focus on the now. How little she is now. How young David and I are right this very second. How lucky we are to have health, to have family, to have friends, for this life.
What I really want is for every mama that desires this to feel this.
For mama's who are struggling with infertility for that baby they are wishing so badly for.
For mama's who have dealt with the grief of a miscarriage.
For the mama's who stays at home and wants some adult conversation.
For the mama's praying for a sick baby to feel better.
For the mama's who work but wish so bad to be home.
For the mama's that want to be pampered.
For the mama's that need a nap.
For the mama's waiting for their Gotcha Day.
For the mama's who's only babies have four legs and fur.
For the mama's who do it all by themselves.
For every single mama out there (which clearly is more than I have listed) - I hope you have a day just like this.
A day that makes you happiest no matter what kind of mama you are.
You deserve it.